Thursday, January 31, 2008

Does that casket come with tartar sauce?

I'm probably going to pay for revealing this, but one never-diminishing source of humor for me and my family is... a funeral home.

That's right, a funeral home. We pass by it every time we go to visit my in-laws, and the morbid jokes just haven't stopped flowing. And we've been passing by it for years.

What's so funny about a funeral home, you ask, Wombat, you sick marsupial?

Oh, it's not just any funeral home. This one used to be a Red Lobster.

I mean, it's obvious, even if we hadn't been in the area long enough to remember when it was a Red Lobster. Oh, they've repainted the roof so it's no longer the old trademark rust color, but it still has the same shape, the same windows, the same carport as the older-style Red Lobster. Check it out:And if you've got the same twisted sense of humor as me and my family, you can imagine the awful jokes that flow from imagining some sick restaurant/funeral home hybrid:
  • Instead of choosing between cremation or burial, they offer "smoking" or "non-smoking."
  • "Here's a pager -- it will flash and vibrate when we're ready to seat you."
  • "Service for Johnson? Hmmm... Did you make a reservation?"
  • "For parties with more than six pallbearers, an 18% gratuity will be added."
  • "Pardon the interruption, minister... but Ted here is celebrating a birthday today! Happy, happy birthday, from all of us to you..."
  • "Yes, we offer cremation services, but we prefer the term 'blackened.'"
  • ...and one that always makes us laugh for some reason, "Would you like drawn butter with that?"
Okay, I'll stop now, but feel free to contribute more in the comments section, and I'll use them the next time we drive by the place.

--- will make you die laughing. With tartar sauce.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Random Musings

  • I'm home sick with an upper respiratory infection this morning. I was supposed to be singing with my church's praise team this morning, but that wouldn't work. I also had to miss the Vocal Majority's annual banquet last night, which is a bummer. If that doesn't tell you how gross I feel, consider this: I went to a medical clinic yesterday morning, and some other customer had given them four tickets to a Dallas Stars game yesterday afternoon. None of the clinic workers could go, and I was offered the tickets. I turned them down!
  • For my URI, I've been given (among others) a really weird prescription -- for "Magic Mouthwash." Anyone else ever have this stuff? It's not a brand, doesn't come in a prelabeled bottle, but it actually said "Magic Mouthwash" on the prescription pad and the same is typed on the Walgreens label on the bottle. It's something I gargle for my sore throat, a liquid mixture of Benadryl, Maalox, and Lidocaine. As you might expect, it numbs my mouth pretty quickly.
  • I'm slowly adding to our Disney trip report, so check there often. I've also started posting full-size pictures, more than can go with the trip report, over at Webshots.
  • It's been a while since I plugged Stupid Guest Tricks, a great group of people, most of whom have ties to Disney or other theme parks. You can find some very entertaining stories of the idiots that walk among us there. I'm in the midst of posting Stupid Guest spottings from my recent trip on this thread.
  • I have a new car. I did not want a new car, but I have one. My beloved little PT Cruiser broke a timing belt just before Christmas and destroyed its engine, meaning it quickly became an expensive paperweight. I found a wonderful little Honda Civic online and bought it the same day, but I didn't have the time I usually take to get excited about a new car. So... I've been warming to it slowly. It has a long sloped windshield and a digital dash that makes me feel I'm in some futuristic space vehicle, which the Star Trek geek in me likes. I also like that its radio can play CD-Rs loaded with MP3's, so I can copy 8 or 9 albums onto a single CD.
  • On the other hand, it's only after my PT Cruiser is gone that my wife Becky admits that she always thought it looked "weird."
  • I feel the need to lie down, so... I'm going to post another segment of the trip report and then crash. If I make it that long.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Day One complete - Day Two coming

I've finished posting the first day of our trip report over at, detailing our loooong day of travel to Orlando.

Day Two postings (where we finally get to Walt Disney World) are coming soon!

Monday, January 07, 2008

Wombat's Disney Adventure

Hey all -- I'm back from my Walt Disney World vacation and Disney Wonder cruise, with lots of stories to tell, including some amazing magical experiences!

I've always written my trip reports in a present-tense, "you-are-there" format, to allow the reader to experience the magic of the vacation as we did. That will still be true this time, but I am making a few changes, starting with the fact that it's being posted on a blog.

Obviously, apart from the first few "prologue"-style posts, this trip report is being written after our return, but I will be taking advantage of the handy feature that allows me to supply a specific time and date for posts to make it seem as if they are being posted as the trip unfolds. I've also decided to break up each day's events into multiple posts, rather than compile a single day into one lengthy post as in the past.

The first post -- written quite a while ago -- is already there, and new posts will be added frequently, so check back often. (Of course, this blog will suffer while I post there, but I'll try to let you know when I've completed each day's events.)

The trip report website?!