Tuesday, January 27, 2009

25 things you may not know about me…

As posted on Facebook, here are a few odd things about my life you may or may not know.

1. I have both danced in a tutu and dropped my pants – repeatedly – in front of paying audiences.

2. Because of my early years in southeast Texas and then near Golden, Colorado, just downwind of the Coors brewery, the two smells that remind me most of "home" are oil refineries and fermenting hops.

3. I can eat fire. Yes, flaming batons, inserted into my mouth, on purpose. Make sure Becky isn’t around if you want me to demonstrate – she hates when I do it.

4. I spent a summer with the Continental Singers, performing 81 concerts in 11 weeks, traveling first coast-to-coast from California to Maine and then returning across the continent in Canada.

5. My two older brothers each were killed suddenly – one by lightning and one murdered.

6. I’ve been stopped by the police several times, but have never received a traffic ticket.

7. My first performance with the Vocal Majority chorus was before my biggest audience as a performer – 9,000 to 10,000 people at the Pepsi Center in Denver in 2007. Before that, 8000 with the Continentals at the Long Beach Arena in California, 1981.

8. I can embarrass my children just by threatening to practice my VM choreography in their presence.

9. I was a complete nerd in school. I even co-founded a Star Trek fan club in Junior High.

10. I can quote extensively from Monty Python TV shows and movies. And often do.

11. I have never unintentionally broken any bones in my body. (The only breaks have had were done purposefully to rebuild my ankle in my September 2008 surgery; before that, none.)

12. I’ve had seven years of French class and can barely hold a basic conversation in French.

13. I stopped trusting the press in fourth grade.

14. I lived in Colorado for eleven years, and went skiing only twice – once downhill, once cross country.

15. I’m not a pilot but have subscribed to Flying magazine for over 25 years.

16. I try to limit my friends on Facebook to people I actually know. Except for Jeff Dunham, who graciously agreed to be my token celebrity.

17. The only college sports I follow are Baylor’s, and the only pro team I really care about is the Dallas Stars.

18. I know and am friends with all my cousins on my mom’s side of the family. I don’t even know how many cousins I have on my dad’s side.

19. Although I’ve sung in church choirs all my life, in school through high school I was just in instrumental music – playing the violin.

20. I never drank coffee until Starbucks came along.

21. Going to law school was a last-minute decision. I sat for the LSAT as a walk-in, with no prep course, and scored in the 99.7th percentile.

22. As a college student, I was one of those rowdy basketball fans who sat behind the opponent’s bench and taunted them the whole time.

23. Most people can take Benadryl to calm effects from allergies, but not me. I am allergic to Benadryl.

24. I am distantly related to Judge Robert E.B. Baylor, co-founder of the university, and supposedly also to Jerry Lee Lewis, Mickey Gilley, and Jimmy Swaggart.

25. I once went to an R-rated drive-in movie – in a church van.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Citizen Cane

I don't really have a joke or funny story here, just a progress report. And a headline that was just screaming to be used.

I've shed my crutches at last, and am now using a cane, my final mobility aid on my road to recovery following surgery last September. I spend 6-1/2 weeks using the knee caddy scooter, then crutches with the "Zazu boot" for a few weeks (a restricted mobility boot, so named because my friend and Disney CM Zazu from Stupid Guest Tricks donated it to me), then crutches with regular shoes, and then just one crutch.

By the time I was able to get around with just one crutch, I was pretty tired of hauling it around, so I went cane-shopping. Of course, being a big and tall guy, the canes on hand at our local Walgreens just were not tall enough. I also wanted something a little nicer looking -- hey, you'll never knew when canes will come back in style, and I wanted to be prepared. (As quoted by Bill McNeal, "Everybody loves a cane!") Besides, it was being paid for with pre-tax cafeteria dollars, and better yet, I found the cane I wanted from a place in Canada, and the exchange rate made a decent, tall, and elegant black cane a real bargain.

Okay, yes, I got it from Canada, meaning the headline on this post is inaccurate. But "Legal Immigrant Cane" just isn't funny.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Two gifts for New Year's

To you, my dear readers -- both of you -- I give the following two gifts as a Happy New Year present from me, Wombat:

First, because almost everything can be improved by adding bacon, follow this link to

The World of Wombat: Now with Tasty Bacon!

Second, if you haven't already discovered it on your own, you owe it to yourself to check out the writings of my bud Diesel over at The Mattress Police. It is consistently one of the funniest things on the web, and I visit there daily hoping for a new post. (And if you agree, while you're there follow the link to vote for The Mattress Police as Best Humor Blog!)

Happy New Year!!