Thursday, August 10, 2006

TOP NINE: Reasons this blog exists

Top Ten lists have been run into the ground. Yeah, sure, they were funny and new way back when, like when Letterman was on NBC (and before he started using the word "a**" in every other sentence), but now they are old, tired, and unfunny. And probably copyrighted. And so, The World of Wombat proudly presents our fresh, new, exciting, original "Top Nine" lists!

From the great minds at the Wombat Institute for Socio-Economic Research and Short-Order Cooking School:

Top Nine Reasons this blog exists:

I'm too lazy to take the time to organize my rants into a stand-up comedy act.

8. My pet iguana "Skippy" has finally been weaned, freeing up feeding times for other activities.

7. I turn 42 soon, and as any "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" fan knows, that's a great age to begin pondering the mysteries of life, the universe, and everything.

6. I'm finally resigned that "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" is not coming back, so maybe Colin Mochrie will visit this blog and become my best friend.

5. I've tried, but I just can't get into NASCAR, so there goes that option for productive use of my spare time.

4. My sons need another reason to shun me during their upcoming teenage years.

3. Trying to impress U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson, in hopes that he'll send me some of that extra cash lying around his office.

2. Now that I've scaled Mount Everest, "create a weblog" was next on my to-do list.

And the number one reason this blog exists:

I needed a new forum for embarrassing myself in public.

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